This has been a very busy week.  Monday was a treatment day.  Tuesday and Wednesday were busy, and I struggled with the effects of my treatment.  Thursday was filled with CT scans and MRI appointments.  Friday meant a return to the doctors for “fluids” to juice me up for the weekend.

It was a busy week.  God met me in the midst of it.  Sacred conversations that helped shape me and help form the person I am becoming.  I was wise enough to cancel one event when my body was screaming for me to stop.  Turns out I was dehydrated.  After an evening of rest, plenty of water, and more rest I felt much better.  I am learning when to say enough and people have shown me grace when I reach the point of needing to stop.

Markers

There were certain markers that caused us to start this round of treatment.  My MRI revealed lesions on my liver had “grown significantly”.  At the same time my CEA had increased from 1.6 to 3.3.  While 3.3 is still below the normal range of 5 it was the first time we had seen any significant increase in the past year.  At the same time I was recognizing patterns of being out of breath walking up hills and was losing some of the energy I had gained after a break from chemo.

The combination of those markers sent me back into this round of treatment.

Patience

I have learned patience with the treatment process.  We do four treatments before doing any kind of tests to reveal if the chemotherapy is working.  Eight weeks of treatment without knowing if you are accomplishing anything other than pumping poison into your body.  At the worst of times it is very easy to wonder if the nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, and disruption to life are worth the effort. [Read more…]