dnicewonger@gmail.com, Author at Daniel Nicewonger

SHADOWS

July 17, 2016 By dnicewonger@gmail.com Leave a Comment

1463052596_0.13600600_1463052596__thumb The final days of last week have been difficult days emotionally. I am not sure why. There is no new news, no reason to begin thinking anything but positive thoughts about my treatment, yet I find myself in a dark place.

I am out in public and see couples who are in their golden years and my heart aches because I am no longer confident I will get to experience that with Nancy.

When Joseph was visiting we had a great time together. I enjoyed the opportunity to spend a week with him and hear of his life and how he is moving forward toward all his dreams and goals. He was a great help around the house. We took care of a number of projects together. I found myself looking at projects that were important and needed to be taken care of so that if Nancy ended up living in our home alone, life would be easier. The kind of things that were less fun and glamorous yet would eliminate problems down the road.

I went out to dinner the other night. In the booth across the way there were grandparents with their grandchildren. It was loud, it was rowdy…it was fun. It brought a smile to my face. I could not help but wonder if I would ever have the opportunity to take my grandkids to dinner. Would I have an opportunity to love on them, to spoil them to speak words of hope and life into their young lives? (I am in no rush for grandkids…just a note for Joe and Rayann) [Read more…]

Taylor Made

July 16, 2016 By dnicewonger@gmail.com Leave a Comment

12295452_905078109545576_6124145327922694420_n The past few weeks have not been easy ones for our country. We have watched the latest incidents where African American men have lost their lives while interacting with police officers. Peaceful protests have turned anything but peaceful as tensions overflowed and people reacted in less than productive ways. In Dallas we saw evil rear its head as violence and death was unleashed upon a peaceful protest and the police.

Reports from around the world have shown multiple attacks upon peaceful people simply going about their everyday lives. Terror was unleashed upon many as a few have chosen to react violently to what they saw as injustices within our world. We have seen an entire country turned upside down as a few sought to overturn the government.

It would be easy to look at recent world events and become depressed about the future of our country and world. In the midst of all this chaos and upheaval people are seeking answers. For some the answers begin to come as they write, as they share the reality and totality of their experience. A good friend of mine, Taylor Albright, has been sharing some of his thoughts via Facebook and I have found them helpful and challenging. Taylor is an Episcopal priest who is also a very gifted musician and has a sharp mind and great sense of humor. I asked him if I could share some of his thoughts off of Facebook. He graciously agreed. We both struggle with whether or not Facebook is the appropriate place to have conversations like this…but the conversation has to start somewhere if we are ever to see renewal and transformation. Taylor, thank you for your piece in starting the conversation…may it continue until “Thy Kingdom Come!” [Read more…]

Is it Real?

July 14, 2016 By dnicewonger@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Roatan trip from a few years ago. Ryan, Rayann and myself slowing down to see what God had for us.

Nancy was talking with a good friend of mine the other day and he asked if my blog was an accurate reflection of how I am doing as we walk this journey.

It was a good question. A question which demonstrated a level of concern and care for both me and my family. Many of us have “put on a strong front” for others in the face of difficult times. We have all had someone tell us they were doing “fine”, or “good” when deep in our hearts we sensed there was more, much more to their reality. Caring people have the desire and ability to see past the simple answers and to give permission for people to share the truth of their reality. In those moments of sharing truth and reality God works and moves in amazing ways.

I am reminded of one of my dear friends. Byron was much older than I was. He had recently lost his wife and was in a less than healthy place. Life was not easy, the grief he carried was a heavy burden and it shaped much of his reality as he journeyed through life. One Sunday morning I passed Byron in the hallway. I knew little of who he was at this point in our relationship. I was aware of his story and respected him but we were not the good friends we came to be. I asked the question many of us ask, “Hello Byron, how are you doing?” “Fine Pastor, how are you?” With a smile and a quick, “great, have a good day” I moved on down the hall. A few steps past Byron something did not feel right, Byron did not seem “fine”…he seemed sad and to be carrying a heavy burden. I went back and asked again, “Byron, how are you really doing?” With that we began a conversation that led to our deep friendship and much more. We stepped into the church nursery and Byron opened up about the realities of his life experience and the pain that was weighing heavy that afternoon. [Read more…]

Roatan Report #2

July 13, 2016 By dnicewonger@gmail.com 2 Comments

Rayann sent a bunch of pictures home this afternoon. They capture some of the events of the past few days on Roatan.

Before they left Nancy asked me, “I won’t have to drive will I?” I assured her she would not have to do anything she did not want to do and that most likely she would not be asked to drive. Well…a few days ago Ronny asked her, “would you be comfortable driving?” She replied, “Don’t ask me if I would be comfortable…if you need me to drive I can/will drive.” She has been driving the past few days and some of the people she travels with are suggesting the put a big #3 on the side of her vehicle. 🙂 Driving on Roatan is a unique experience. The roads here in Kennett Square will never be the same once she returns. The attitude she demonstrated, “if you need me I will” is the perfect attitude to have on a missions trip. You never know exactly what is going to happen and you have to be able and willing to adjust to the demands of the moment.

One of the pictures Rayann shared is of the road blocked by a tree and downed telephone wires. There was not way around or through the disruption. The only way back to the other side of the island would have been with a boat if they could not find a solution. Turns out they ended up driving through a rock quarry and getting back on their road past the disruption. In the midst of the detour they ran in to a whole group of children and adults to minister to. Two of the pictures are of the “divine appointment”. Rayann was clear that they would never have met those people without the road being blocked. Who knows exactly why but it was important for them to spend time with the people they met while on the detour.

It is clear they are enjoying themselves and the people of Roatan. The group they are working with include some friends from Locust, North Carolina who travel with Live Again Ministries. It has been good to catch up with these friends while serving the people of Roatan.

Our Depression

July 13, 2016 By dnicewonger@gmail.com 1 Comment

Owen and “Big Dog” in bed

Nancy and Rayann left Saturday for Roatan. Owen stood at the door as Rayann walked out, suitcase in hand and whined for over twenty minutes. He paced nervously through the house as if he was looking for something or someone. I kept telling him she was coming back, she always does.

Over the past few days I have done my part to reassure him that everything will be okay. I have fed him as per the instructions left for me on the fridge. Stop and think about that…I have detailed instructions on how to put food into a dog’s bowl. I have cancer…I have not lost complete touch with reality nor my mind, yet I read the instructions daily and follow to the letter. Yesterday morning I followed those instructions perfectly and still he just stood at the bowl and looked at me as if to say, “You are not supposed to be feeding me, I will not eat this until the correct person puts food into my bowl.” Sure enough, when I returned home from the office his food was still in the bowl. I dumped it out, followed the instructions once again and gave him a new fresh meal. He chose to eat some of this offering. [Read more…]

JULY 11 2016

July 12, 2016 By dnicewonger@gmail.com Leave a Comment

fitness-gym-weights Monday was a big day. I went to the gym and met with a trainer who helped me think through how to work out in my weakened state. I am not going to break any records or end up being one of those body builder types but I do hope to gain a little strength and stamina. We worked together for half an hour and by the end I was ready to head for home.

I had one of those interesting interactions in the parking lot. On my way out there was a young mother who was carrying a very upset young boy, maybe 3 or 4 years old. He was screaming and yelling and in general making a scene. She kept talking in quiet, measured tones, “when you can behave we will go swimming…not today, we will try again tomorrow.” Everything she said was met with a pretty impressive temper tantrum. I was across the parking lot, getting in my car when she apologized for the noise and disturbance. I laughed and walked across the lane to talk with her and said, “No need to apologize. You are simply being a good mother. Keep doing what you are doing. It is hard today but he will learn and when he is sixteen or seventeen he will be a very mature and well behaved child.” She stopped and just looked at me for a moment…then said, “thank you… this is so hard.” Again I laughed a little, the kind of laugh that says I know, I have been there…but it will get better. I spoke a few more words…”Yes it is, but you know it is right. You are the parent…be the parent. You are helping him learn about consequences for bad behavior…better he learns that now than when he is older. Keep doing what you know to be right…it will work out in the end.” She smiled, said thank you and turned her attention back to a very unhappy, yet growing and learning young boy. He is going to be the kind of young man who will be able to help us wrestle with some of our countries deeper issues some day…all because his mom would not let him go swimming one summer day because he could not behave. We need more moms and dads and a wider community to help raise up the next generation of leaders.

Joseph and I spent the rest of the day working around the house. We took a load of brush to the dump and prepared a second load to take away later in the week. We spent time power washing the deck so we can put a fresh coat of paint on it sometime later this week. Finally we worked on some of the drainage issues surrounding the house. It was a good day and I was glad to have Joseph around to do most of the heavy lifting. To celebrate our work we decided we would go out for dinner.

On another note…I have been thinking about the chaos and turmoil in our country these days. I have a thought, take it for what it is worth. It seems to me that one of our biggest problems is that we do not know how to talk to one another. We are great at talking AT each other…not so good at talking To, or WITH each other. How did we get here? When did we stop communicating and begin thinking that simply because we are talking AT someone we are having a conversation? [Read more…]

MY GIRLS ON ROATAN

July 11, 2016 By dnicewonger@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Nancy and Rayann on Roatan

Nancy and Rayann have been gone for three days now. They made it to Roatan safely and have begun their time of service to the people of the island. They spent Sunday morning participating with a partner missions group, Cross Training Sports Camps, in hosting a Sports Camp event. These are great events that share the love of God with children and adults. Sunday afternoon was a time to relax and recover from a long day of travel and get ready for a very busy week of ministry. They spent some time enjoying the beach and water of Roatan Sunday afternoon.

Monday began with a painting project. They worked with a team to paint a school so that it looked welcoming and inviting. It looks like they did a great job. I may have to put them to work when they get home. 🙂

There is much more planned for the rest of the week and I will pass on more pictures when I get them.