“The root of Christian love is not the will to love, but the faith that one is loved…”

While on retreat at the Jesuit Center a few weeks ago my spiritual director gave me some readings to focus my thoughts.

One of those readings was an article by Father Ronald Rolheiser.

Why we Pray

Writing about prayer he challenges many common thoughts about why we pray.  Prayer is not about getting things from God.  Nor is it about “having beautiful thoughts about God.”

Prayer is about us “feeling God’s affection for us.”

Abba Father loves ME.

Praying in this way opens the door for me / us to experience the full depth and breadth of who God is.

It expands my / our capacity to love myself and others as Jesus called us to.

Rolheiser suggests that prayers greatest functions is to help us experience God’s love for us.

Faith that we are Loved

It was Thomas Merton who wrote, “the root of Christian love is not the desire to love, but the faith that we are loved.”

Stop and think about that for a moment.

How many have struggled to love others?  Think of the times when you have known the correct response is love or forgiveness but just could not find it within yourself to move that way.

Could it be that we jump to “showing” love before understanding, truly embracing the depth of Abba Father’s love for us?

Until we make that discovery…until we experience the love of Jesus in a personal, relational way there is little hope of us truly submitting to one another in love.

My greatest expressions of love come when I am confident that I am loved…loved by Abba Father…being able to rest in that reality is what sets captives free.

A “simple” prayer

One of the simple prayers I have been offering up to God these days goes something like this…

“Abba Father, help me to see myself as You see me.  Help me to know and experience the depth of your love for me.”

I will be better able to love like Jesus the more I know…truly believe that Abba Father loves me just as He loved Jesus.

If you spend much time around the Jesuits, you will hear them speak of gift & grace.  They have come to understand that all of life is either gift or grace.

The Jesuits, or “the Society of Jesus” is a Roman Catholic order of priests and brothers founded half a millennium ago by the soldier-turned-mystic Ignatius Loyola.

Jesuits seek to “find God in all things.”  They are dedicated to the “greater glory of God” and the good of all humanity.  Jesuits draw upon the rich tradition of Ignatian spirituality and reflection.

Contemplatives in Action

To be clear, I do not consider myself an expert on Jesuit thought or life.  I do know that when I spend time with my Jesuit brothers I am challenged, and my faith is deepened.  What attracts me to their specific “brand” of mystic theology is that while the focus begins with gaining a deeper understanding of and relationship with God it does not end there.  Jesuits do not retreat from the world to “navel gaze” and simply deepen their walk with God.  They “aim to be ‘contemplatives in action,’ people who bring this spirituality into the wide world.”

During this last trip to the Jesuit Center I realized that pieces of my personal vision statement could have been written by a Jesuit priest. [Read more…]

Into the Silence

It is Sunday afternoon (May 6^th).  We are just about halfway to the Jesuit Center in Wernersville, PA.

Nancy is going to drop me off for a five day retreat into the silence.  I enjoy silence, I find it helps me quiet myself and draw closer to Abba Father.  I fear silence.  When all is silent you can hear clearly.  Abba’s voice is always gentle, always affirming who I am as one created in the image of God, as one of God’s beloved.

Yet I always question.  What if I do not hear clearly this time?  There is so much to do, so much that needs to be done, can you really afford to spend this time away?

Dashboard Christmas Tree

We are about halfway to the Jesuit Center when our dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree.  I mean the kind of bright that someone could have seen from the space station.  Multiple lights, warning messages flashing.  The car has no power.  As we pull away from a stop sign it struggles to accelerate and gain speed.  This is it, I knew it was coming, GONE is our transmission!

What to do?  Immediately I want to turn around.  There is no way we should push on.  Nancy should not be driving the car home, alone while I am at the Jesuit Center.  She needs ME to get this car fixed.  I am going to have to help as we pick out a new car and navigate through that whole process.  This retreat is over before it began. [Read more…]

As we near the close of 2017 and the dawn of a new year I thought I would share something I have re-learned the past few weeks.  Habits have a way of shaping us even as we try to shape our habits.

During my twenty months of chemo treatments I struggled to remain focused and energized.  I became a strong believer in the importance of naps and learned to pace myself in new ways.  Pre-chemo Dan loved to use the time after dinner to read and study.  It was my time to catch up on what was important to me.  During my chemo treatments I found it very difficult to read.  I could not remain focused and would need to read whole sections a couple of times to figure out what an author was saying.  At the end of the day I was often exhausted and if I could stay awake in my chair that was a victory.  It was not unusual for me to sit down in front of the television and “relax” the night away.  Honestly, it was about all I could muster during my treatments.

When we decided to take a break from chemo my focus slowly returned and the effects of “chemo brain” gradually lessened.  What did not change was my habit of going to sit in my recliner and watching television for much of the night.  I had become comfortable, dare I say addicted.  My habit was slowly becoming my reality.  Each night I would think, “you should go to your study and read.”  Each night I would come up with a reason to stay put and watch the night slowly pass me by.

Habits have a way of slowly morphing into something that defines us.  This happens when we intentionally start a new good habit in an effort to transform some aspect of our life.  It happens subtly and often goes undetected when a bad habit becomes something that shapes and defines our personality or lifestyle. [Read more…]

A Normal Morning

My morning began like most every morning.  Arrive at the office with a long list of things that “have to be accomplished” today.  A fresh cup of coffee in my hand I sat down behind a cluttered desk and began to strategize a plan to move through the day.

As I shuffled papers, books and other assorted things around my office in an attempt to appear organized I moved my devotional, “Jesus Calling” from one side of the desk to another.  No time for this today…too much to accomplish…too much to get done.  Maybe later in the day when I have checked some things off the old “to do list” I can spare some time to read the thought for the day.

A twinge of guilt.  The prompting of the Spirit.  A longing for something more than just another busy day.  Whatever the cause I returned to my devotional and opened to the reading for today.

“My ways are higher than yours”

“My thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways My ways.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways and thoughts higher than yours.”

“Remember who I am when you spend time with Me.  Marvel at the wonder of being able to commune with the King of the universe – any time, any place.  Never take this amazing privilege for granted!

Though I am vastly higher and greater than you, I am training you to think My thoughts.  As you spend time in My Presence, My thoughts gradually form in your mind.  My Spirit is the Director of this process.  Sometimes He brings Bible verses to mind.  Sometimes He  enables you to hear Me ‘speak’ directly to you.  These communications strengthen you and prepare you for whatever is before you on your life-path.  Take time to listen to My voice.  Through your sacrifice of precious time, I bless you far more than you dare to ask.”

What I long for

This is what I want!  This is what I seek.  Day by day, hour by hour to grow in my ability to walk closer with Abba Father.  Learning to live and move this way speaks of peace.  Peace in the midst of chaos.  Peace in the midst of crazy.  Peace in the midst of a cluttered desk.  Peace in the midst of cancer.  Peace in the midst of….

As you enter into this day may you take a moment to be still and spend time with Abba Father.