Daniel Nicewonger

Monday was the first round of Maintenance Chemo.  I will continue this treatment plan for a season.  During this stage of treatment Dr. Saroha and I will be monitoring how I feel, signs of active cancer and any indication of “relapse”.  When there are any signs of active cancer we will return to some form of more aggressive treatment.  My prayer is that we can avoid that reality for a rather lengthy period of time.

LANGUAGE MATTERS

Last Friday I met with Dr. Saroha and we talked over options and ended up choosing to enter the maintenance chemo season of treatment.  As we were talking about my cancer he used the word “remission”.  “Remission” is a word I was told never to expect to hear.  When he spoke it I was taken by surprise and did not say anything.  We were in the midst of making big decisions on the future of my treatment.  The word was spoken, hung in the air and then was quickly passed over as we made life altering decisions.

A few days later I could not escape his use of the word.  What did he mean when he spoke it?  I know what I have always taken it to mean when someone with cancer shared that they were in remission.  How could this be when I was clearly told to never expect to hear such words in my case?  I needed answers.  Email is awesome.  With a quick note to Dr. Saroha I had my answer in less than 24 hours.  I thought I would share it here.  I think it is helpful to understand how some of those who care for us use language and it speaks clearly to my condition.  Here is his response:

Unfortunately, “remission” is not a well defined medical term and we do use it variably during discussion about cancer. There are two common scenarios that you may hear it used-

1) Cancer was treated, there is no evidence of cancer currently, patient may be cured but we won’t know for sure for a few years, so we may call it “remission” until we can call it cured or the cancer returns. This would be the situation with an early stage colon cancer that was resected and then patient may have had chemo for a few months afterwards.

2) Cancer was treated, there is no evidence of active/progressing cancer (but there likely is some cancer in the body), plan is observation (no chemotherapy) or maintenance/low-dose chemotherapy until we see progressing/worsening cancer, so we may call it “remission” until cancer gets worse (called “relapse”).

I used it in 2nd context. Although, I certainly would like you stay optimistic (rarely these “remissions” can last years and as you know, miracles can happen!).

While I certainly would have liked to have been in the 1st context I am glad we can say “there is no evidence of active/progressing cancer”.  Our plan of low dose chemotherapy should keep any cancer from growing for a season.  My prayer is that I stay in this stage of “remission” until someone comes up with some new treatment which will move me closer to a cure.  I love Dr. Saroha’s closing words, “miracles can happen”!  Amen, Amen and Amen! [Read more…]

“Hey Dan, I have an opportunity for you.”

This was how many of our conversations began.  Over time I learned to laugh and beat him to the punch.  “So, what opportunity do you have for me today?”  Walt was one of those happy, easy going guys who had the gift to see the positive in every situation.  Even the worst of times was an “opportunity” for someone to learn something new, to grow, to rise above expectations and do great things.  The truth.  Walt knew every “opportunity” was a moment for us to remain faithful, do our best, and then watch as God showed up to redeem and transform a difficult situation.

I was a young man when I worked with Walt and Carol.  I learned a lot.  Above all I learned that even the most difficult of situations is “an opportunity” to see God at work.

I thought of Mr. Opportunity this morning when I read my devotional.  I want to share it with you here.  It comes from Sarah Young’s “Jesus Calling.

Every time something thwarts your plans or desires, use that as a reminder to communicate with Me.  This practice has several benefits.  The first is obvious: Talking with Me blesses you and strengthens our relationship.  Another benefit is that disappointments, instead of dragging you down, are transformed into opportunities for good.  This transformation removes the sting from difficult circumstances, making it possible to be joyful in the midst of adversity.

Begin by practicing this discipline in all the little disappointments of daily life.  It is often these minor setbacks that draw you away from My Presence.  When you reframe setbacks as opportunities, you find that you gain much more than you have lost.  It is only after much training that you can accept major losses in this positive way.  But it is possible to attain the perspective of the apostle Paul, who wrote: Compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus, I consider everything  I once treasured to be as insignificant as rubbish.

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It was a Monday

Have you ever had one of those days?  The kind of day where no matter what happened you felt like you were behind and underwater.  Monday was a Monday of all Mondays.

I woke up tired.  Sunday had been a busy day and my body felt weary.  I was tired and I knew it.  My energy level was low and I could tell there was little chance of it getting any better.  I have learned that on days like this I am much more sensitive to everything.  My emotions are near the surface and things I can normally manage to overlook set me headed in a bad direction.

For example, at lunch I could not open my 1 liter sprite bottle.  The neuropathy was bad and I had no strength.  Nancy came to my rescue but it was frustrating and in many ways humiliating.  Later in the day I tried to open a package of gum.  My fingers would not work, I could not feel the wrapper to pull it off so once again I handed it off to Nancy…I am glad she is around.

I need to get a scan this week.  The insurance company and hospital were not communicating well.  We had tried to “help them” communicate most of last week to no avail.  Nancy called the oncologists office this am…they had not heard any news and would make a call on my behalf.

My neuropathy is not getting better.  In fact it is slowly creeping up my arms and legs.  My arms and legs are numb just above my elbows and knees.  I called my oncologist and they decided to put me on yet another medicine to help with the neuropathy.  The only side effect, “it will make you tired.”  “Yeah, just what I need…something else to make me tired.”  I am not sure I will take the medicine.  This may be one of those things I tough out just so I do not have to deal with the side effects.  I am not eager to put more drugs into my system.

The oncologist’s office called.  They arranged for the scan!  Only thing is I needed blood work before I could have it done.  Drop everything and run to the office to have the blood drawn.

Now I can look forward to Barium…love that stuff.  It was one of those days.  I wanted to stop and start the day again.

FROGS

I walked into my oncologists office and found this sitting behind the receptionists desk!  I just started laughing.  The kind of laugh that comes from deep within and allows you to release some of the stress you are carrying.  Cheryl just smiled and said, “How can I help you sir?”  She knew why I was there.  She is the first person I see every time I walk into that office.  We often have a friendly banter.  Seeing her is part of what makes trips to that office enjoyable.  She runs the office in an extremely efficient manner.  Cheryl knows her job, enjoys her job and does it very well.  Lest you think everything is “fun and games” I sat in the waiting room today and watched as she “schooled” one of the visiting drug reps on what was the appropriate way to enter her office so as not to waste her time.  It was classic.  Done firmly, yet kindly all the while dressed as a frog!  I hope you never have to visit her office.  If you do you will notice that her desk is covered with all kinds of frogs.  Everyone has their thing, for Cheryl it is frogs and she covers her work station with them.  Walking in and seeing a giant frog in her chair was just too much.  It was exactly what I needed on this Monday.  On my way out of the office I asked Cheryl if I could take her picture.  She was all too excited to show off her costume.

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