Archives for September 2016

I knew this day was coming.  I had prepped myself for it.  Yet when it happened I was taken by total surprise.

“Get a Job”

Monday morning meant a trip to the District Court in Media, PA.  I was there to stand with a friend and to speak on his behalf during a difficult time.  I did what I had planned to do and was leaving the courthouse when someone shouted, “Get a job.”  “Put down your stick and stop walking like that and get yourself a job!”  It took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on.  When it became clear I was stunned.  This individual was shouting at me.

I have been using a walking stick at different times over the past few months.  The more chemotherapy treatments I have had the worse my neuropathy has become.  Over the past few weeks every step I have taken has been met with a deep tingling or pain.  It feels as if my feet have fallen asleep and I cannot wake them up.  At times it is my walking stick which helps keep me standing upright.  When I walk I shuffle more than take steps.  I move like a person much older than I am.  My walking sticks have been a source of stability and assurance as I have navigated my way through the world.

Standing on the sidewalk I was stunned.  “You heard me, stop with the act, put down your stick and go get yourself a job like everyone else!”  At that moment I had an ungodly thought.  I wished I had my bigger stick.  I could have used it right about then for something other than walking.

I slowly started to walk again.  As I shuffled my way down the street the voice rang out, “Give up your act, get a job, stop acting.  (there were some other words thrown in which I will not print here).  At this point I shouted back.  “Why don’t you give Stage 4 Colon Cancer a try and then get back to me.”  I figured an explanation might help.  Wrong.  “So that’s your story, good one; put down your stick and get a job!”

With that I was done and I quietly walked / shuffled the two blocks to my truck.  Once in my truck I thought about tracking down the person who chose to speak into my life this morning.  I thought better of it and opted to drive home.  Driving home my mind was filled with many different thoughts. [Read more…]

Today was a good day.  I spent a good part of the day in the office and got a lot of work done.  I had lunch with Father Chris Rogers and we talked about the annual Thanksgiving Service.  After lunch I made a few phone calls and we are well under way to making that special service a reality again this year.  I always enjoy the time I get to spend with Father Rogers.  Later in the day I got a  few signs.  Each sign is significant and had an impact upon my day, I though I would share them with you.

Flat Stanley and I at church

I am now the proud owner of a Handicapped Placard (sign).  This is not something I ever thought I would need, or at least I was not planning on having one at age 48.  I resisted getting the Handicapped Placard for a long time.  Nancy was watching me have a hard time walking around and suggested I get one.  I am not sure how I responded to her suggestion.  I am sure I had to apologize for some part of my response.  There was something about this step that I did not like.  It makes sense.  There is no need for me to “waste” my limited energy walking from the parking lot.  It was the right thing to do but it was not easy to admit that I needed the extra help. [Read more…]

Round 10.  I have been at this for twenty weeks now.  This is hard to believe.  Yet my first chemo treatment was way back on May 9th.  Chemo Round 10 marked a significant change in my treatment.  We opted to stop using Oxaliplatin in the cocktail of drugs I receive during my bi-weekly treatments.  This is an exciting change for me.  It means I may begin to be able to drink cold drinks again and in a few weeks I hope to be able to feel my feet again.  The drug has worked wonders but the side effects have been rather hard to deal with.

My oncologist is thrilled with my progress.  During my last visit I asked, “We are in a different place than we were the day we first met in the hospital?”  He quickly said, “Yes, you are in a much different place.  Your body could not have responded any better to the treatments than it has.”  It is nice to hear those words.

I have had an easier time this round.  My energy level has been rather high and I have not felt as weak or weary as I have in previous rounds.  My hope is that in changing the cocktail we are using the treatments may become even easier to manage. [Read more…]