Archives for February 2019

PERSPECTIVES

February 26, 2019 By dnicewonger@gmail.com 1 Comment

Nancy and I have traveled a similar journey for the past two years. I have to remind myself constantly that we have different perspectives.

EARLIEST MOMENTS

Nancy and I were both in the room when we first met Dr. Saroha. Nancy sat in a chair, I lay in my bed as we first heard the words, “You have cancer.” We were less than four feet apart and yet we were miles apart. I listened to words that caused me to think about my own mortality. While Nancy heard the exact same words she was left wondering what life would be like without me. Perspectives.

MY PARTNER

I could not have asked for a better partner for the journey these past few years. Nancy has made everything I have accomplished possible. She has helped me through difficult times and given me strength when I wanted to do “just a little bit more.” Nancy has been a fantastic partner, and yet we see things through different lenses.

MOVING LIKE I WANT TO

I have more strength and feel more like pre-cancer Dan than I have in close to a year. Just the other day I said, “I am finally starting to move like I want to.” Let me interpret that Dan speak for you. My day began with eight am coffee with one of Kennett’s most exciting and influential social justice advocates. We talked of partnerships and how to work closely together. I have accepted a position on the Board of Kacie’s Cause. While I am promoting The Journey Continues there are three other books in the works. First Baptist is full of life and there is much to do. Life is busy. I am energized and excited by all of it.

Nancy sees all the activity I just wrote about and wonders if maybe I ought not slow down? She can’t help but think that somehow all this activity is doing damage to my body and taking time off of my life. We have talked about it. We asked Dr. Saroha and he assured us it is not. Still, I can see the question in her eyes as she looks at me sometimes.

Two people, same exact experiences having different perspectives. [Read more…]

Rehoboth Beach

February 23, 2019 By dnicewonger@gmail.com 1 Comment

One of my goals for 2019 is to spend more quality time with Nancy. Last week we got away for a few days at Rehoboth Beach.

My Private Beach

I know. I can hear the howls, “Why in the world would you go to the beach in the middle of February?” A picture is worth a thousand words. This is a picture of my personal, private beach. At one point I stood on my hotel room balcony and looking as far as the eye could see I only counted twenty people on the beach. That was the busiest I ever saw it.

Winter Beach

When Joseph and Rayann were growing up we would take a week in February and head to the beach. It was just the three of us, we called it our Big Adventure. We ate poorly (great), stayed up late, and simply enjoyed time together. One of my favorite memories is the time Rayann stepped in a snow bank, got stuck, and when I pulled her out she lost her snow boot. How many people can say they lost a snow boot on the beach?

Nancy and I had been given a gift certificate to the Boardwalk Plaza Hotel. The place was amazing. We enjoyed a few days away and got to travel home in the middle of a snowstorm.

My Thirty Year Quest

While away I had the opportunity to complete a thirty-year quest. When I was twenty I traveled to England. I was there for a few weeks and my group traveled all over the country and into Scotland. In one community we lived with host families. Each morning we would walk to the center of town to meet our group for the day. When our day was over we would all walk back to our host homes. My trip home led me past a fish and chips restaurant. It was a small, hole in the wall, take out place. You walked in, placed your order and walked out with fish and chips wrapped in a butcher paper cone. It was some of the best food ever. I stopped every night as I headed home.

When I returned to the States I started my quest to find fish and chips that came anywhere close to what I experienced in the small, hole in the wall shop in England. I have eaten a lot of bad fish and chips in pursuit of this quest. Nancy is the one who spotted Go Fish. A small, hole in the wall place selling fish and chips. I tried not to get excited as we ordered our food. My hopes had been dashed so many times before. That evening Nancy and I were the only people in the restaurant. We had the whole place to ourselves. It was fun, and the food was fantastic! The thirty-year quest was completed!

A Relaxing Trip

Nancy and I had a great few days together. It was good to step away from work and relax. Nancy took some time to work on a project the two of us are doing together while I spent some time writing. Our schedules were not being driven by appointments or deadlines, this was very refreshing. We could simply be together and do what seemed right at the moment. I will not lie, I did manage to take a few naps.

We had breakfast each morning in the hotel restaurant. It was a nice way to start the day. Looking out over the beach as someone served you coffee.

Thank you First Baptist Church for the gift certificate and the time to get away and relax for a few days.

Scan Results

February 14, 2019 By dnicewonger@gmail.com 5 Comments

Tuesday afternoon I went for my normal CT Scan and MRI. While driving home my oncologist called to say he had already heard from the radiologist.

The Normal Scans

Tuesday morning there was a mild “weather event” going on in our area. We had snow, rain, and ice. The winter trifecta of all things you want to avoid. My study has a woodstove and I had that thing cranking out some serious heat. When it was time to leave I was not overly excited about the whole process.

Walking into the facility where I get my scans I was reminded that this was as much a social call as it was a trip to the doctors. I was greeted by familiar faces, we got caught up on life and all the things that had changed since the last time I had visited.

During these visits, I am repeatedly asked, “How do you feel?” It feels like an odd question. How I feel is truly irrelevant. What matters is what they see through the scans. I can feel great and at the same time have something very bad going on inside my body. Over the past few years I have learned to not waste energy answering the question. I simply say, “That is what I am here to find out.” [Read more…]

Springfield, Republican

February 11, 2019 By dnicewonger@gmail.com 1 Comment

Thank you to freelance writer Cori Urban of The Republican – Springfield, MA for a great article.

Her work can now be found on MASS LIVE and will be published in the paper in the coming days.

The Republican / Mass Live article

#TJCdn

WCHE Interview

February 7, 2019 By dnicewonger@gmail.com Leave a Comment

A few weeks ago I sat down with Doug Stirling, Bill Mason, and the rest of the crew on Morning Magazine.

Writing The Journey Continues was easy compared to the promotional and publicity piece. I have a small team of people helping me get the word out. I am spending time each day making connections and looking for places where I can talk about the book.

Sitting down with Doug and the crew of Morning Magazine at WCHE was a blast. Our conversation just flowed and pretty soon I forgot I was being interviewed, it felt more like a conversation between friends.

Before I knew it we had talked for over half an hour. It is a wide-ranging interview. We talked everything from U2 to how to feel more comfortable speaking with those who are in the midst of a season of serious illness.

#TJCdn

Changes

February 7, 2019 By dnicewonger@gmail.com 1 Comment

Faced with the loss of a favorite bagel shop I wrestled with how we experience change in our lives. Learning to help others navigate change is important.

Looking Forward to Lunch

This week I am attending the yearly conference of the Nehemiah Leadership Network. It is being held at the Tuscarora Inn and Conference Center. I have found reason to visit Tuscarora Inn a couple times each year. One of my favorite things about trips here is a visit to the local bagel shop. It is one of those shops in a small country town. A locally owned place where you can get amazing sandwiches on just about any type of bagel that you can imagine.

Confronted with Change

I arrived a day early so I could settle in and get some rest before the activities of the week began. I was not really hungry, but I did want to stop by this special bagel shop so out the door I went. As I came into town I was greeted with a big, bright orange, brown, and pink sign glaring at me. Normally I am one who cheers the site of a Dunkin’ Donuts sign. There was a season when I would have bet that my blood was part Dunkin’ coffee. Today, my heart sank. Gone was the bagel shop with such great sandwiches. In its place stood the same old Dunkin’ that I can find just about anywhere on the east coast.

I drove through town in hopes of finding something local, I was disappointed. As I walked into Dunkin’ Donuts they had taken what was a nice space with plenty of area to sit, read, relax, have conversations with friends and sterilized it. There were about one third of the amount of seats, all crammed in together. This was not the place I remember sitting for hours as I enjoyed my lunch, a cup of soup, and a good book. I grabbed something to eat and got out as fast as I could. [Read more…]

Lacing up the Shoes

February 5, 2019 By dnicewonger@gmail.com Leave a Comment

Life can get crazy, calendars confused, priorities misaligned. When that is your reality it is easy to miss a significant life event.

Present for a Purpose

I have worked hard to be present at all the important events in the lives of my children and family members. I have sat through soccer games as my daughter stood in the middle of the field watching a hawk circle the field while the game went on around her. There were concerts where I waited patiently as hundreds of children proved it is near impossible to make music using a recorder. Saturday mornings filled with boys basketball games where the teams simply swarmed the ball and ran off excess energy. I attended Nancy’s high-school reunion with her. The list goes on. I have worked to ensure that I was present for those events significant to the members of my family.

An Epic Fail

Tonight, I failed. It was not just falling short, it was a failure of epic proportions.

I was not present for Nancy’s return to the basketball court!

The last time she stepped on the hardcourt was 1986, the year we graduated from high-school! The last time she laced her shoes for a game of basketball was over thirty years ago. I know, some of you may be shocked I would share that number…but it astounds me. Thirty years without playing. Many of the boys she was playing against have yet to see their thirtieth birthday. Think about that for a moment.

I had scheduled my conference with the Nehemiah Leadership Network and was out of town. In the middle of our evening presentation, my phone started to “blow up.” There were pictures on Instagram along with texts filled with images of Nancy mixing it up out on the court. I could barely hear what the presenter was saying. I had failed. This was an epic moment in the Nicewonger household, and I was not there to support Nancy.

One Proud Guy

I am so proud of her strength, her fight, the toughness that resides within her. The church team asked her to play and she pulled on her shoes and went out there with the boys and gave them a run for their money. This is the resilient resolve that I know to be at the core of who Nancy is.

Needless to say, I spent time reviewing my calendar so I can be sure to find a seat on the sideline and cheer her on for the rest of the games.