Last Thursday (April 28th) there was a memorial service for Tim Corum at First Baptist Church. It was one of the most meaningful and difficult services I have ever been a part of. I began by acknowledging two truths that were a reality in the room that night.
Truth #1: The church was filled with people asking why, searching for answers that would most likely never come. Many of us had spent the last few days saying “If only…”. If only I had reached out to Tim, if only I had tried to help him more. The reality is that there are rarely answers to these type of questions…the truth is life is often difficult and hard. We all recognize and understand the truth that there are seasons of life which are simply painful. Nowhere in scripture does God promise even the most faithful or spiritual of us an easy, pain free life…there will be seasons where we are left asking these difficult questions.
Truth #2: In the midst of these most difficult times God does promise to always walk with us. While scripture never promise an easy life it is filled with promises of God’s presence in the midst of turmoil. “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” “My peace I give you…a peace that passes all understanding.” Scriptures are filled with passages that talk of the Spirit of God walking beside, behind, before us as we journey through life.
We then lit a candle recognizing that we were not gathered alone, the Spirit of God was there with us…to guide us in our time of mourning as we celebrated Tim’s life. It was a special night.
As the service came to a close I felt a twinge in my shoulder and it felt like I had pulled a muscle. It had been a stressful week. One of my friends joked, “Nancy needs to give you a shoulder massage tonight.”
Friday morning I awoke with pain all down my right side and it was hard to take a deep breath. Again, the previous week had been busy…it was time to relax and let my body heal. As the day progressed the pain worsened. During the day Nancy and I went to the drugstore and I purchased a new heating pad in hopes of helping make things better. Later in the day I started having trouble breathing. I could not get a full breath of air. The pain in my shoulder started to move down my right side. It felt like the pain you get when you cough too much and pull a muscle in your chest.
Friday night was Rayann’s prom and I watched Nancy take her and a few friends off for a great evening. [Rayann looked absolutely beautiful…almost to good to let out of the house] By the time the party was over at 3:00 am on Saturday it was clear I was not getting any better and it was time to head to the ER.
Saturday morning was a lot of tests…more tests…more tests…more tests…more tests, you get the idea. Eventually they chose to give me a room and we started a whole new group of tests…more tests…more tests, on and on. I do want to say that the staff on 2 West at the Chester County Hospital was amazing. It is odd how you go in a patient and leave with people you can call friend.
Tuesday afternoon Nancy and I met with one of the doctors who told us that I have Colon Cancer which has spread into my Liver. It was not the news we were wanting to hear…but something we had talked about earlier the longer the testing went on.
Today [Wednesday] I was released from the hospital. We stopped by the church on the way home to take care of a few things which needed done. [yes, I am taking care of myself. part of helping me recover means I will need to stay busy…I can not simply sit at home]
Tomorrow [Thursday] I return to the hospital to have a port put in which will be where I receive future treatments.
Friday I am meeting with my oncologist so we can make plans and take steps toward starting Chemotherapy. Chemotherapy will start shortly and will take place every other week.
Laying in my hospital bed throughout the day and in the dark of night my mind would often return to the start of Tim Corum’s memorial service. I reflected long and hard on those two truths I shared with the congregation that night. The “Why’s?” spoke loud and hard through the night and in the early mornings. It was comforting to know that no matter what the days, weeks, months & years ahead hold for me and my family we will not walk it alone. We have the support of loved ones, both family and friends. Ultimately it is the Spirit of God who goes beside, behind and before us and will offer His peace which passes all understanding.
“Come on, don’t be a loser.” This was what my dad said as he held out the wasabi peas to me and my brother. Of course we didn’t want to be losers, so we ate them, jumped around a bit and then smiled at the fact that we were not losers. Dares like that are a common thing with him. They are usually followed by what I now call “The Look” from my mother. He was always joking around and daring someone to do something. One of the jokes I could never seem to get was the “Rayann your food looks a little weird. Let me smell it to make sure it’s ok.” of course I didn’t want weird food, so I would hand him my food, usually an ice cream bar or something like that. He would smell it and then take a big bite. I would say something like “NO, don’t eat it all!” and my mom or brother would say, “He does that every time. You shouldn’t be falling for that!”. I fell for that for longer than I would like to admit. My dad and I have always been partners. We have our own traditions; things that my mother and brother were usually not included in. Our Dunkin donuts mornings are one of my favorites.
ntain dew. That was one of the best parts of going somewhere with Dad, you almost always got to do something mom wouldn’t approve of. We would sit there for a while, I would eat my breakfast and then it was off to school. That’s another reason why those mornings were so amazing. I got to come to school late. My dad would walk me down the hallway, passing moms classroom on the way. Mom knew this was a tradition of ours. Luckily, my teacher liked me enough, so she didn’t mind I was late. She probably wasn’t thrilled about my breakfast choice that morning. The jelly donut has always been my favorite. We don’t really go out for that anymore, but my dad still has his ways of bringing it back. On my fifteenth birthday my dad went out that morning and got me fifteen jelly donuts. There is one birthday that was just me and my dad the whole day.
and my dad. We planned out a whole day. We started by eating a nutritious breakfast, which was a cinnabon, the biggest cinnamon roll I have ever had. The next stop was the movies. I picked out “Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore”. My dad, being the good sport he is, made it through the movie. Next on the agenda was the pottery place. We each picked out something to paint. I picked out a little dog and Dad picked out a little plate. At the time I thought a plate was a pretty boring choice, but I didn’t question it. I painted my dog purple with pink dots. My dad took the plate and put “Happy Birthday Rayann” in the middle and then put “2010” at the bottom. On the sides he put peace signs, which at the time I was obsessed with. Both the dog and plate have a spot on the hutch. By that time it was probably around 2pm, it was time for lunch. I had picked out the Cheesecake Factory. I figured it would be great considering my dad and I are both cheesecake lovers. The restaurant was a pretty fancy place. I ordered shrimp thinking it would be like the popcorn shrimp I like; it wasn’t. When it came out I must have looked a little overwhelmed because Dad laughed a bit. Overall it was pretty good, but I was there for the cheesecake. I ordered a slice of Reese’s cheesecake. I was expecting a nice little slice, but what I got was a pretty big slice. I was able to eat a little bit of it, but decided it would be better to take it home. After that it was time to go home. When we got home my mom had invited my grandparents, my Aunt and Uncle and younger cousins over. She had made my favorite meal and favorite sides. Nana also made banana pudding which is my favorite desert. My dad and I just looked at each other and kind of laughed because we weren’t really hungry, we had spent the day eating. That was one of my best birthdays. Not all my favorite memories with my dad involve food.
for it. He asked me what color I wanted to paint it, purple was the answer. The next thing we had to do was find tires for it. We went to about three different stores before we found the right size. The next thing we had to do was put it together. That didn’t take too long. I thought we were all finished, but he went to the store one more time. When he came back he had sticker letters to put on it. They spelled out my name. That may not seem like a big deal, but with a name like “Rayann” I rarely ever find anything with my name on it, so it was a big deal. I was pretty excited with the finished product. I had my own purple wagon with my name on it. I still have the wagon. Anytime yard work is involved, I bring it out.
going to sound a little odd to anyone who has followed the saga that is Owen. You all know I was in favor of a dog…a man’s dog, something like a lab, a big black lab or possibly a weimaraner. We ended up with this little thing that has black fur like a lab, the body shape of a dachshund and barks like a beagle. In short it is far from what I imagined, dreamed of and envisioned having to take care of once my daughter abandons me for college and whatever comes after and “blesses” me with Owen.
ance of survival we have got to be on the same team.
This evening the parking lot of First Baptist was turned into a place of fun and activity. Following the Kennett Square Halloween Parade we held our Trunk or Treat. It was great to see our team come together and make the event such a success. We started out with 150 cotton candy cones and we used every one of them! The people just kept coming and it was great to see all the smiles as we simply served our community. Thanks again to everyone who made this such a success. Here are a few pictures that capture some of what took place this evening.
