A hot mic during an early morning ZOOM call helped me see I was not moving at my best. I made amends, experienced grace, and grew in my understanding of regret.
My Hot Mic Moment
It was just another ZOOM meeting.
Partially engaged, my mind listened to the speakers as I shuffled papers around the desk. A good friend and community partner was reporting on a number of projects when it happened:
I mumbled something under my breath. Nothing terrible, just expressing my desire for the meeting to move along a little quicker.
Suddenly I was totally alert.
Had I just heard my inner thoughts come through my headphones? How could that be!
Sure enough, my mic had been unmuted.
Nobody reacted. Maybe my inner thoughts expressed over my “hot mic” had gone unheard.
I quickly muted my microphone and started to question what in the world was going on with me.
As the day wore on and I wrestled with my hot mic moment. I realized it revealed where I am emotionally. What I saw was not pretty.
I usually have a pretty good filter. While circumstances or individuals may irritate me, I have a decent ability to sensor myself and outwardly express only those things that will be helpful or life-giving.
When I am stressed or processing my own “stuff,” my filter tends to “get a little clogged.” Some of what should stay inside finds a way out.
My mumblings revealed that I am probably wrestling with more than I care to think about. Moving through the rest of my morning, I found myself reflecting honestly about the emotional upheaval the past few years have been.
The turmoil certainly did not excuse my mumblings but helped explain my shortcoming.
Later in the day I picked up the phone and called my friend.
Hey, I think I owe you an apology.
Really, for what?
As we talked, it was clear he had not heard my mumblings earlier that morning. The easy way out would have been to gloss things over and move on. My spirit needed something more.
So our conversation continued, and I shared some of my struggles and how they had impacted our ZOOM call.
As we talked, my friend spoke to me with grace and understanding.
My friend knows me well and understood that my spirit was wrestling with regret over even needing to make the call as I shared my apology.
They shared teaching they had recently heard about regret. My friend spoke of how regret can often paralyze us and keep us from moving forward.
A little later in the day, I received a message linked to an interview with Daniel Pink: Daniel Pink wants to challenge what we think about regret.
I certainly found help wrestling with my regrets as I listened to the interview.
I have not read the book, but if it is anything like the interview I am sure many will find it helpful. Daniel Pink, author of The Power of Regret; How Looking Backward Moves us Forward.
What actions or behaviors reveal that you are not moving at your best?
Is there someone in your life that needs to hear from you? Someone with whom you should make amends?
What do you regret? How are you using the pain of regret to help move forward?